It is not uncommon for newly sober individuals to refrain from dating for a period of time, so as to remain focused on the recovery process. For most, there does come a time when the notion of dating becomes desirable, and applying the dating tactics that may have worked prior to achieving sobriety is likely to be ineffective. Hence, the idea of dipping back into the dating pool while sober can seem daunting. Although the process may suddenly seem a bit foreign, there are plenty of ways for individuals in recovery to date, remain sober, and have fun all at the same time. Consider the following tips:
- Try dating apps: nowadays, there are many different dating app options available and some of them include icons that allow members to display whether or not they drink or use cannabis, such as:
- Get involved: allow yourself to be driven by your passions and join a community organization that aligns with them. This can expose you to other people with common interests and hopefully help you connect with someone you won’t be easily bored with on a date.
- Use a matchmaker: research local matchmakers and see if they can help you connect with a compatible partner.
- Try speed dating: there are tons of different types of speed dating events out there; sign yourself up for one that is marketed as alcohol-free.
- Exercise: taking care of your body is imperative, but trying out different exercise classes and/ or joining one or more group sports teams could exponentially expand your dating pool. Don’t limit yourself to one option, allow yourself to be exposed to many different methods of exercise and you may meet someone in the process.
- Know your limits: while you are on a date if there is any point that you feel uncomfortable and/ or that your sobriety may be threatened (e.g. your date orders an alcoholic beverage while out to dinner), do not delay in advocating for yourself.
- Always have an exit strategy: dating can be unpredictable, and there should not be any shame in ending a date early, with or without reason. Having an exit strategy in your mind before the date begins can help make your departure relatively seamless.
While dating may seem exciting, prioritizing one’s sobriety is of utmost importance. There is a fine line between making choices that can hinder one’s recovery process and choices that help prolong one’s continued success with her sobriety. Holding tight to the lessons learned during one’s recovery process and applying them to relationships can help an individual cultivate a healthy relationship that simultaneously compliments her ability to achieve sustained sobriety.
For Information and Support
Substance abuse and addiction can be incredibly dangerous and can result in severe short and long-term consequences. If you or someone you know is suffering from substance abuse or addiction, please get help as soon as possible. The earlier you seek support, the sooner you and your loved ones can return to leading happy, healthy, and fulfilling lives. There is no reason to go through this alone, and we are here to help. Please feel free to reach out to us for further information or with any questions regarding substance abuse or addiction. We are available anytime via telephone at: 213-389-9964, or you can always email us at: info@friendlyhousela.org.
