Sobriety & Menopause
Perimenopause, Menopause, and Sobriety: What Women in Recovery Need to Know
At Friendly House, we work with women of all ages—from 18 to 80—and we understand that the needs of one age group rarely reflect the needs of all. In our society, we often shy away from discussing the very real changes that many women experience between the ages of 35 and 55.
Today, we want to talk openly about one of those major life transitions: perimenopause and menopause.
Why This Conversation Matters
As hormone levels begin to fluctuate—sometimes starting in the late 30s—women may experience symptoms such as1:
- Trouble sleeping
- Night sweats
- Pain during sex
- Mood fluctuations
- Fatigue
- Difficulty concentrating
These symptoms can be overwhelming for any woman, but for women in recovery, they can present unique challenges that are important to acknowledge.
The Intersection of Menopause and Sobriety
People in recovery often learn a range of coping skills—some designed to manage triggers from people, places, and things, and others to manage emotional triggers. It’s one thing to walk away from an external trigger.
It’s impossible to remove yourself from the internal ones—especially those caused by biological changes rather than outside circumstances. Having these overpowering emotions does not make you crazy. It makes you one of an estimated 86% of women who experience these symptoms in their lifetime.
This is where menopause becomes particularly relevant to sober women.
What Sober Women Are Saying
In an article for Psychology Today, writer Dana Bowman3 shares her journey through menopause and how it impacted her sobriety. Before she recognized what was happening, she experienced depression, fatigue, insomnia, and even suicidal thoughts.
During this confusing time, she found herself thinking about drinking again—after 12 years of sobriety—to cope with symptoms she didn’t yet understand.
This is a dangerous and vulnerable place for any woman in recovery. Addiction thrives in moments of emotional or physical discomfort—and menopause can bring both.
Tools That Helped One Woman Through
Bowman highlights what supported her during this phase of life. Her top tool was self-advocacy. She continued searching for answers until she received a diagnosis, refusing to let her symptoms be dismissed simply because lab tests didn’t show anything definitive.
She also:
- Allowed herself to rest
- Leaned into spirituality
- Spent time outdoors each day
- Honored her body’s changing needs
Her journey is just one example, but it illustrates a much larger truth.
You Are Not Alone
Not every woman will have the same symptoms or find the same tools helpful. But what you are experiencing is real, and many others are navigating the same challenges. Feeling this way does not mean you are not working a good program or doing something wrong in your sobriety.
If you’re struggling:
- Honor your symptoms
- Protect your sobriety
- Lean on your support system
- Advocate for your health and your needs
Perimenopause and menopause may be a natural part of life—but that doesn’t mean you have to go through them alone. Friendly House is here to support you every step of the way.
1 https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/menopause/what-menopause
